the stupid one

I think I'm stupid..

I made a decision but now I'm the one who feels trapped because of it..

I thought I already knew the consequences.. yet knowing is different than experiencing.. it's harder than I thought before..

I've been in many stages since that day.. and I know crying doesn't help.. but I still do it anyway..

breaking the decision is something that my heart wanna do.. but my logic forbids me to do so..

what if I got rejected? what if I got dumped? what if I got ignored?

waiting is maybe the only way I could do.. yet I'm tortured waiting but it's the safest way I know..

I hope this nightmare wouldn't last long.. wishing somehow I could go back to where I was..

praying that it's a way that will get us back together, not make us apart..

I'm hoping.. yet I cannot be sure about it.. 

and I realize know that this is the hardest situation I've ever been in..